Happenings At Hookwood

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Book excerpt

Chapter One

Something up at Oak Tree Cottage

‘I wonder what’s up?’ squeaked Startup, the irrepressible young rabbit, voicing the thoughts of all the animals drawing near to see what was going on. Something was up at Oak Tree Cottage, and soon the news was buzzing around the whole of Hookwood.

A large van was nosing its way up the lane towards the solitary cottage, and its uncertain progress was being broadcast from tree to tree along the route. It stopped at last at the foot of some old stone steps carved in the bank at the side of the lane, and several men and a boy got out, pointing to the sign and the cottage above.

There was some doubt at first whether they had come to the right place, for it was a funny tumble-down old cottage, set high above the sandy lane in the middle of the surrounding farmland, half a mile from Tanfield, the nearest village.

It had been empty for so long that many of the animals had come to regard it as their own. Indeed, the sparrows and starlings had been nesting under the broken roof tiles for many a long year, and Squire Nabbit, the rascally squirrel, had been storing his nuts in there as far back as he could remember. It was all rather unsettling, and some of the older ones amongst them were looking a little worried.

‘I’ll tell you what it means,’ rasped Grumps, the one-eyed owl, making them all jump. ‘Humans, that’s who. Look!’ He pointed with his claw, nearly losing his balance on the branch as he did so.

One of the baby rabbits tittered, but the others shushed him and craned their heads expectantly.

Suddenly, there was a babble of talk from the lane. Car doors slammed, and a young couple ran up the steps, squeezing past the removal men in a hurry to get to their first new home together. The neglected state of the cottage did not seem to worry them. They chattered eagerly, happily taking in the state of the cottage and the overgrown garden, and the men in their aprons caught something of their mood and got to work, exchanging some friendly banter.

‘They look okay to me,’ blurted out Startup, and some of the other rabbits privately agreed, but they didn’t like to offend Grumps.

‘Where are your manners, darling,’ murmured his mother, Dora. His father snorted and gave him a cuff to show him who was boss.

There was a sudden commotion at the top of the steps. The young removal boy was struggling with a wicker basket, and without warning a paw streaked out through the lid and clawed his face, making him drop the basket with a yelp.

‘Oh, dear,’ said Dora faintly. ‘I think it’s time I went home and got the supper. Come along, Startup, it is well past your bedtime.’

‘But it’s just starting to get exciting,’ protested her son. ‘Let me stay with Dad, just for a minute.’

‘Ask your father then,’ uttered Dora nervously, peering over the long grass.

After relaying the message, Startup turned back to his mother.

‘Dad says, ask you. Please can I?’

He was talking to thin air, for Dora was already scuttling away down the bank, as fast as her trembling legs would carry her. Her husband, Ben, might not be afraid of cats, but she was, and she wasn’t waiting a moment longer to find out what it was going to do.

It turned out to be a big striped marmalade cat that jumped out of the basket – the kind that stood no nonsense. He stalked stiffly up and down the path for a while, getting in everyone’s way, nearly tripping up some of the removal men as they staggered up the steps with their loads.

Then one of the men fetched out the new owner who sat the cat in a makeshift box and told him not to move, in a very severe voice. The cat merely blinked disdainfully, shook his ruffled fur, and began to lick his front every now and then, while casting a sleepy but watchful eye over the scene.

The sight of the cat waiting at the door seemed to unnerve the young lad, and every time he arrived with a load, he set it down hurriedly and shot off again, afraid of being clawed. Soon an odd collection of furniture and boxes began to pile up. There was so much in the end that when the young owner appeared from upstairs he found he could hardly get out, and the next removal man who followed up found his way blocked. It was a fine old mix-up.

Startup nudged his father and pointed gleefully, but Ben shushed him and got out his pipe. It was just beginning to get interesting, and he didn’t intend to miss a thing.

Soon, two more removal men who were backing up the path with a settee bumped into the obstacle and came to a sudden halt. After a lot of dithering, word was passed down the line to stop bringing up any more loads. But by then men were going bumpity bump, like a crowd of goods trains backing into a siding.

Something had to be done. The removal man in charge scratched his head and looked around for orders. But it was the cat who unknowingly supplied the answer. Getting bored with the whole proceedings, he leaped over their heads onto the porch and strolled up the short section of nearby roof and disappeared through the open window.

At last managing to squeeze out through the doorway, the young owner caught sight of the cat and it gave him an idea. He waved at the removal men and pointed up at the window. At first they nodded, grinning and smiling politely in turn. Then when the meaning dawned, their smiles faded and they looked around for a volunteer. As if by common consent, their eyes strayed towards the young lad who immediately stopped laughing and turned to run for it. Before he could get far, he found himself hoisted up on the porch with ease by a big burly fellow, and there he crouched, his foot wedged between two split planks that made up the porch roof, begging to be let down.

Instead of giving him a hand, one of the men lifted up a chair and told him with a guffaw to sit on it while he had a chance, because there was a lot more coming his way.

The men were a good natured lot, anxious to get finished, and one of them even climbed up next to him, with one leg braced on the porch to help ease the load, and heave the heavy items through. First came a table, then a kitchen cabinet, which the lad told them earnestly would never go through in a month of Sundays, but did, and so it went on. It was unbelievable what was going through that window.

‘What are those funny lumps of wood for?’ asked Startup, greatly puzzled, thinking of their own cramped burrow.

‘For goodness sake,’ spluttered his father over his pipe, not wanting to show his ignorance. ‘Stop your chatter, I can’t hear what they’re saying.’

‘Golly, do you understand human talk?’ Startup was most impressed.

His father merely coughed importantly.

After that, Startup tried to listen with more respect, although it still made no sense, so he just watched in case he missed anything.

He needn’t have worried. Nothing seemed to be happening. Everything had come to a halt, and the men stood around shuffling their feet, waiting to get off to their next job, while trying to avoid the reproachful looks of the young woman who had come down to find out what was up.

‘It’s not our fault,’ the man in charge seemed to be saying, waving his arms apologetically at the pile on the doorstep. ‘We’ve done the delivery as we promised, and that’s what we’ve been paid for, begging your pardon, ma’am.’ He touched his hat awkwardly, backing down the path. ‘That cat of yours has gone and made us late for our other move over Packham Hill way. We only did it as a special, to fit in the two jobs, like.’

Behind him, the men were already taking the hint, scurrying down the steps like schoolboys let off early.

‘Oh please, do stay!’ the young woman was imploring, but she was talking to thin air, and soon there was only the sound of a spluttery exhaust to remind them there had been anyone there at all.

The woman turned away and took a look at the furniture jammed in the doorway. It was suddenly too much to bear, and with a wail she threw herself into her husband’s arms.

‘What’s she saying?’ whispered Startup.

‘She’s a bit upset,’ replied his father somewhat unnecessarily.

‘What’s she saying now?’ asked his son after a fresh cry of anguish was heard.

‘I think she’s telling him she can’t find a kettle…’ answered Ben after a long pause. Then he added thoughtfully, ‘I wonder what she wants that for?’

Startup was nonplussed. That was the very question he was going to ask himself.

‘Isn’t there anything we can do?’ He wrinkled his nose.

‘Do?’ repeated his father crossly. ‘We don’t do anything. You don’t help humans – you just keep out of their way,’ he explained gruffly. ‘Humans aren’t like us,’ he said, drumming his back feet in emphasis. ‘They’re different,’ and he nodded, as if that answered everything.

‘Oh,’ said Startup, not entirely convinced. ‘Perhaps she might like some parsnip soup. That’s nourishing.’ It was a word he’d heard his mother use, and it sounded important.

‘No,’ snapped Ben, getting nettled. ‘That’s my supper you’re talking about, and if you’re going to carry on making that sort of remark, we’ll end up as rabbit pie. Now, be quiet, I can’t hear what’s happening.’

He puffed furiously to concentrate, but the voices were much quieter now, and it was difficult to hear anything. The young man was trying to calm down his wife, at the same time casting quick glances around to see what could be done. Everything was in such a fine old mess, it was obvious he didn’t know where to start. Fortunately, he was saved from making a decision in an unexpected way. Suddenly, there was a loud ‘hello’ from the lane below, and a big jolly woman clambered into view, clasping a large hamper.

Her arrival made an instant impact. It was as if a fairy had waved a magic wand. At the sight of the hamper, a smile of heartfelt relief lit up the young woman’s face, and she rushed forward to greet her friend, clasping her with open arms, and doing a little dance at the top of the steps.

It was all too much for Grumps, the one-eyed owl, who had stayed on as a stern act of duty. Outraged, he flew away muttering darkly, ‘No good will come of this.’

But Startup watched entranced. He was so taken with the fun and gaiety he nearly joined in himself, but his father managed to grab him just in time.

Instead, they crept along, following after the visitor as she enthused over the ‘gorgeous’ garden. In fact, the friend, called Olga, became so ecstatic over the jungle, matted lawn and half hidden flower beds that Joan, the young wife, almost began to believe it herself. Her husband, George, was only too willing to believe anything at this stage, and thankfully humped the hamper along after them.

He was in the act of dusting down some deckchairs, intending to carrying them across the grassy wilderness when he almost trod on the two rabbits. They were so agog at the sight of all the delicious food being spread out they didn’t see him until he was almost on top of them.

Ben looked up wrathfully, and Startup gave an impudent flick of his back legs before hopping after his father, who led the way trying to appear dignified.