Wandering Feelings

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Wandering Feelings - book excerpt

Chapter 1

‘We’ve arrived. Is anyone going to welcome us here?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know. The more important thing is that we don’t have anywhere to stay,’ he replied pensively.

Now they were increasingly starting to realize the rueful truth that they had already had no home of their own.

He seemed reluctant to go back. There, the bright smile of his mother had been left behind; the smile which he would always be missing desperately. But there also remained the shadows of his father and sister, who had long forgotten him – as though he had meant nothing to them. They were so busy with ‘important stuff’ like to care about themselves and their property. What use would they make of some love of their relatives, of kindness – such vain things according to them? Why should they be bothered with his loneliness? That did not concern them at all. The only good thing was that he was far away.

Even when they met each other and got engaged, they remained adamant in their natural selfishness and egotism. What did it matter that they wanted to settle down and have their own family?

Now they had and possessed fortunes, whereas he did not have anything at all. Now they rejoiced, and he had but to suffer. Since long ago they envied him for the fact that he was educated, sophisticated and indulged in science and research.

His sister could not complete any higher degree and did not speak any foreign language, but at the expense of that, she knew how to ridicule others, especially her brother. Her wickedness was her science, which needs mastering as well. Maybe that was the thing which her father liked indeed – after all, she was his beloved daughter.

The word ‘daughter’ had a great meaning and significance for his fiancée. She was such for her dearest people that were still on this planet, that is, her granny Anastasia and grandpa Marko. They were her true parents – caring and supportive. Where were the others? Where were the mother and father? As per their wont, they were in their own world of endless greed and avarice, which she failed to comprehend. She did not assume yet that they would show her that the highest achievement in life for them was money alone and the fact that they were sole owners of all. However, were they masters of themselves though? Had they not turned into slaves of mere possession? One thing was for sure, she did not have any place either on their estates or in their thoughts.

Unlike the previous generation of her relations, they were unable to create anything and give to others. They could only ask from other people.

They did not even bat an eyelid when they took everything from their child in order to deprive her of any dreams.

‘Is there anything more ruthless than that?’ he kept asking himself.

In his thoughts like fairy lights other questions were also glimmering. Probably the most important one was whether he had to leave and go abroad to study and further his academic skills. However, that was a rhetorical question.

In time, he got to understand more and more clearly that education and intellect were the only things that belonged solely to him. The single way forward for him. Yes, forward and… together with her. It was his love alone that he could ever give her as a present, while he desired much more than that – he was longing to make her happy. Was he going to succeed? Maybe…

He witnessed how with years sometimes sorrow would silently appear in her eyes, but he would not stop hoping. For him, she was the entire gentleness of light, which changes you and which you may never forget.