Finding Beautiful | Next Chapter

Jul 22

Jul 22 Finding Beautiful

Book excerpt

Prologue

“Aria, look,” Farrah whispered from our adjoined desks, as we sat towards the back of Mr. Nelson’s history class. Her hazel eyes zeroed in on someone across the room, her slim eyebrows raised and her eyes wide with curiosity.

“What?” I whispered, peering down at my notebook filled with the lecture notes I needed to memorize by next class. My overly excited best friend kept nudging me, even as I tried in vain to ignore my curiosity at who caught her eye. The last guy I would be interested in was some jock that Farrah had her sights set on, but hell, I was curious. Aggravated, I turned to where she tilted her head, only to gasp when a pair of chocolate brown eyes collided with mine from three desks over.

I was right. He was a jock. A LAKERS cap was drawn low on his head and three girls surrounded him, wanting his attention while he had his sights set on me. He wasn’t staring, at least not in that way boys looked at you with only one thing in mind. He was just looking at me. With curiosity. With wonder.

I knew who he was, practically everyone at Beaumont High did, Bryce Williams, a senior. He was the quarterback on our football team. Chocolate-brown eyes, tousled black hair, and a muscular frame—he was any girl’s dream.

And he was looking at me? No way. My cheeks flamed red at the thought. I hastily turned my head to see if there was someone behind me, but there was no one. Oh goodness, it was me. Why the hell would he be looking at me?

“He’s looking at you!” my best friend gushed as I turned to see her biting her thumb in excitement.

When I looked back at him, his brows were raised and a wide smile played on his full lips. I knew I should look away. My sister warned me about boys like him, especially given what people said about him. They said he was dangerous; that his last girlfriend, Kristy Jenkins, fled to private school after only two months of seeing him. Looking at him though, I wasn’t sure I believed those rumors.

Chapter One

I clasped the locket in the palm of my hand and took a deep cleansing breath. Dancers glided elegantly over the wooden floors, masses of grace and beauty. I had bonded with these women over three weeks of brutal training. From the wings, I watched them, hoping I’d be just as confident when I took the floor.

I approached my coach, mentor, and dance partner of six years, Eli Jones, and tried to cover up my trembling hands with the wrap I was holding. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. Dancing was like walking to me. I’d done it ever since I was old enough to put one foot in front of the other. It had been an outlet for me through the lonely nights of middle school, the stressful, exam-filled days of high school and especially through my four years at Julliard. It had been my relief from everyday life. But this would be my first-time dancing in front of an audience since my hospital stay four months ago.

Oh, shit. What if I fell on my face? With my hands shaking terribly, that was a possibility.

My errant thoughts were interrupted by a hand on my shoulder, squeezing me from behind.

“You’re going to do fine, Aria,” Eli whispered in my ear with another squeeze to my shoulders. I smiled because I was afraid that if I spoke, I wouldn’t make it to my dance before I talked myself out of it.

I had to do this. For me. For everything I’d endured and every person that had lifted me up the numerous times I had fallen.

The slow instrumental of a Celine Dion melody began, and I slipped the gold-bowed ballet flats on my feet and pulled my wavy black hair into a bun.

I drew in a deep breath as I glided onto the floor. It felt as if every moment leading up to this enhanced my already frazzled nerves. My body was strung tight from my toes to the tips of my fingers. I hadn’t done this in so long, I was terrified that I’d mess up. What did they say about riding a bike? Learning to drive? If you learned once, you’d positively remember how to do it no matter how much time had passed. I really hoped that was true.

I stretched my fingers to the ceiling, and as I did, my eyes flicked over to see my supportive dance coach looking at me. When he nodded his head, I knew I could do it. I had this. Taking another deep breath, I began to move, making sure to stay in sync with the lyrics playing in my mind.

Once more you open the door and

you’re here in my heart

and my heart will go on and on.

I moved to express everything inside me, and soon I didn’t even have to think about the rhythm or the steps or the people from my academy’s dance program watching my every move. I was one with my body, the soft music, and the heartbeat inside my chest.

My right leg lifted as if in a trance while my other rose in front of me in a perfect arch. I held that position through a few strains of the violin and then glided back into position for my finish. When the violin ended, I went for my big ending and landed it with easy grace as the audience applauded for me. A larger-than-life smile spread my lips, lifted my cheeks and made my eyes burn as I took in the number of people avidly applauding and celebrating.

This was my world and my love. All I needed, I realized. All the pain, grief, fear, everything faded when I danced. It was the only place in my life where all the bad feelings didn’t overwhelm and crush me. Everything had finally crashed down on me four months ago, and I almost never danced again. Thank God, I lived to dance once more.

A pair of skinny, but muscular, arms caught me as soon as I was within reach and I giggled as Eli hoisted me off my feet, laughing in my ear. He squeezed me gently as he hung on a little longer to our hug.

“You, my mistress, are back.”

I met his gaze and nodded, knowing I truly was back. Eli let me go as I saw my sister, Kel standing by the locker rooms. Hastily I ran to meet her. Instantly she drew me tightly into her embrace.

“You were amazing, Aria. I’m so proud of you, honey.” She grinned against my head and I sniffled into her Rolling Stones tee. I blinked a few times so she didn’t think I was sad today, because I was not.

“Thanks for coming, Kel,” I murmured, hooking one arm through hers. As we filed out with everyone else, she spoke only for my ears.

“I wouldn’t have missed it for anything in this world. I’m just sorry Mama wouldn’t come.”

I closed my eyes and reminded myself to be strong. My mom hadn’t talked to me ever since my older brother, and her beloved son, died years ago. I still remembered the moment he flat-lined.

I was at Jeremy’s bedside with my arm in a sling as he fought for every breath. A drunk driver hit his truck cab and he suffered internal bleeding along with broken ribs and massive head injuries. We had no idea whether he’d wake up, and even if he did, would he remember us? Would he be our Jeremy? Or would he be a vegetable for the rest of his life?

In the end, though, his heart wasn’t strong enough and he passed exactly one hour and twenty-two minutes after he was brought into the emergency room. It crushed me. Hell, it broke me. My mom took it the hardest and placed all the blame on me amid her grief. The pain got to be too much for her and the only way she could cope was to be angry. At the world. At me. But God, did it hurt.

I didn’t realize tears were falling until they stung my cheeks. Kel wiped them away, her amber eyes filled with worry. I missed him so much.

“It’s okay,” I whispered, struggling to rein in my emotions.

Kel wrapped her arm around me and led me to her car, knowing that I had to move, to do something other than relive those terrible moments. We walked across the parking lot and I spotted a canary yellow sports car with a black pinstripe detailed on each side. I could tell from the make that it was a newer Jaguar. I didn’t know all that much about cars, but this had to be the sexiest car I’d ever laid eyes on. Every inch was sleek, painted in the brightest shade of yellow, the designs up one side in thin lines of navy and black was a stark contrast to the bright yellow. Then I caught sight of the gorgeous man leaning against it staring at his phone.

I lost my breath when a pair of piercing blue-gray eyes locked on mine and I swore my heart stopped beating. It felt as if the air around me was charged with something as I met his gaze. My breath faltered as I took in the man standing no more than twenty feet away. With brown tousled hair that begged me to run my fingers through it and a look in his eyes that made me stop where I stood, I was mesmerized. His eyes captivated mine, two clouds of brilliant blue and gray. His lean cheekbones and nose complimented his face perfectly. His mouth was sculpted and tilted into a half-smile. Somehow, it made my blood heat in anticipation. Gradually, my eyes swept down his body. The man was wearing a white dress shirt, unbuttoned at the top that hugged his chest in the best way and black jeans with black dress shoes to match.

When my eyes returned to his, he cocked his head to one side as if to ask are you checking me out?

I couldn’t help the butterflies that took flight in my stomach. He was . . . beautiful. My brain seemed to catch up with my eyes and I immediately asked myself, what the hell was I doing? It was not as if I’d never seen a good-looking man before. It just felt like my eyes were somehow drawn to him. I watched as he pulled a wrench out from under the hood of his car, straightened up, closing the hood with a loud thud. The way he carried himself was like sex on legs. It dawned on me that he didn’t seem cocky or full of himself like most guys with his looks were, but he did have a sense of self-awareness and power in the way he moved.

I drew my eyes back to his and he stepped forward. The smile he gave me made me weak in the knees.

God, what was happening to me?

Aria, calm down. He was just a man.

“Like the view?” he asked, his voice gravelly. The sound seeped through me, through the space between us, through my overheated skin.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I ended up just taking in a breath and attempting to gather my thoughts. He watched me quietly, eyes trained only on my face.

I tried to reason with myself, to get in the car and drive away, but I couldn’t truly think of anything that would cause me to run.

Okay, he was just a man, who was sinfully beautiful and had eyes that drew you in like a moth to a flame . . .

“Oh . . . um, yes. Is this yours?”

He nodded and took a step forward, startling me a tad when he took my hand gently in his. The simple touch was like a spark between our bodies, sending tingles over my skin.

“She is,” he said, that half-smile lighting up the dips and shallows of his face. I could see at least one day’s worth of brown stubble across his jaw, my fingers itched to touch him, feel the roughness I knew I’d find along his jaw. I bit my lip as he admired me with those eyes of his. God, his eyes were so deep, so full of mischief.

“She?” I cocked my head to the side in confusion.

“Yes, that surprises you?” he teased me, eyes narrowing a bit.

My mouth stretched into a shy smile, and I felt my heart flutter as he gazed down at me. “Let me guess, you named her, too?”

“I did. Jasmine, after the girl that broke my heart years ago. I’m hoping history won’t repeat itself. I can’t imagine she’ll run off with a French exchange student. You think?”

It made me laugh, his naming his car, but it also saddened me knowing he had felt heartbreak. I could relate. Heartbreak was something I knew intimately, but didn’t everyone get their heart broken at one point?

“I hope not.”

I didn’t try to take my hand from his. The skin contact was just too intense for me to want to. Beside me, Kel tugged on my arm and smiled knowingly as she looked at our joined hands. Oh goodness, what did she have in mind?

Leaning closer to me, she whispered in my ear, “Shall I invite him tonight?”

I narrowed my eyes at her and hastily shook my head, though I did want to see him again. My sister insisted on having a party. She said it was to celebrate my performance today, but she just really loved parties and any excuse would do.

Kel stepped in front of me, blocking me from his view while she looked at him. I watched her lean in to whisper in his ear and I vaguely wondered what he must smell like.

“Of course, I’ll be there. Thank you.”

I met his eyes intentionally, wondering what he must be thinking of her taking a such quick liking to him. His eyes sparkled with mischief, and they didn’t leave mine while he talked with my sister.

My heart was in overdrive for the first time ever and it was due to this man. I had to remind myself to focus on something other than his beauty or the speed of my heartbeat in my chest. He was just a man. I kept telling myself that.

“You don’t have to come, my sister is just being nice,” I half-whispered as he moved a step closer to me. I swore the heat in his gaze could burn me in two.

Shaking his head slightly, he gave me a smile that just about melted my heart. I wondered, could he possibly want to see me again? Did I want that?