Gods & Reapers

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Gods & Reapers - book excerpt

Prologue

EVA MCRAYNE 

August 5th

This wasn't the life that I wanted, but it's the life I needed. It's very difficult for me to write those words. On paper, my thoughts take a physical form. They seem as final as a signature on a death certificate. I know that comparison is morbid, but I am surrounded by the tragic stories of others. I have immersed myself in the world of vengeful spirits and hateful gods. It is only right that my soul has been darkened as well.

I won't say that I am happy. I am alone now more often than not. My moments are consumed by Grave Messages or tasks given to me by the Olympian Council. Yet, in my work, I have found a passion that will never leave me. In my tasks as the Sibyl, I have grown into the woman I have always wanted to be. Resilient. Strong. Fearless.

Fearless enough that Joey is convinced I have a death wish. I tend to brush him off, but I can't help but wonder if there is some truth in his words. Perhaps, I embrace the pain caused by the fights against my enemies so that I can feel something. Anything to prove that I am not the icy bitch as the media portrays me.

Yet, I am that icy bitch. I have no tolerance for personal dramas. I do not need a romance that will only leave me stranded in my misery. It was that realization that helped me make the decision to leave all that behind. There was no great love for me. Hell, given the divorce rates these days, that is true for most of the population.

We are leaving to go to the estate in a few hours. I'd purchased a house not far from there some six months ago, but I was never there longer than a day. Why the house? Because I couldn't stay at the estate like I used to. There was too great of a risk in running across Jonah and Lola Barnhardt, the arm candy who was by his side now more often than not.

Jonah. I miss him terribly, but our paths only seem to cross through text messages and Facetime sessions that last for hours. He had been my closest friend for a short amount of time. My virtual confidante when my fears over Cyrus eventually threaten to overwhelm me. I am still convinced that the keeper will find his way out of the prison Apollo threw him in after he tried to drop me off a cliff. But I refuse to write about him. This is about Jonah, not Cyrus. And with Jonah? I love him deeply, though we are only friends. That is all we'll ever be.

Once I accepted that fact to be true, it became easier to listen to his stories about Lola. The last one had been about the day Lola had surprised him at the library. I asked him if the two of them had sex between the bookshelves and his only response was nervous laughter. I took that as a yes.

I listen to these stories as if I am listening to a stranger tell me about his life. I must be detached. Otherwise, I will break the one rule I have set for myself concerning Jonah.

I will never, ever ask him why he didn't want me after he was freed from Ares' influence.

I want Jonah to be happy. I want him to find that one woman he loves more than anything in this life or the next. I will support him every step of the way. After all, that is my true role. To succeed in my work. Support others as long as they see fit to stay in my life. Then wish them a happily ever after that I will never know myself.

The more I think about it, the more reasonable my decision has become. The only person who has the power to hurt me now is myself.

I must finish this entry. I am supposed to be getting ready to go, but I needed to get my thoughts in order first. I wanted to get these emotions and these fears out on paper before I had to face the one person I hadn't seen for eight months now. I was well aware that time would make Jonah's rejection sting less. But after I take the Oath of Hestia, I would be free of that dull ache.

Tomorrow at dawn, I will be free of it completely.

 
Chapter One

EVA MCRAYNE 

I really, really loved the estate. But I really, really didn't want to go today. Terrence was throwing a barbeque and while the rest of the country was getting slammed with a heat wave, Rome was a perfect seventy-five degrees.

Dammit. I looped my curls into a messy bun on top of my head. If it had rained, I could have cancelled. Instead, white puffs of clouds dotted the sky through the windows behind me.

"Evie! Get your butt down here!" Joey called up the stairs. "Pedro is already in the car!"

Pedro. I rolled my eyes as I smoothed out my pale green t-shirt. Joey's first official boyfriend had become a staple over the past few months. He was nice enough. A real charmer. He and Joey were adorable together. Sickeningly so.

I grabbed my sunglasses and ran to the garage to see Pedro already sitting in the driver's seat of his Aston Martin. The dude was loaded. Thank Olympus for that. He took care of Joey now even more than I did.

"Get in, chica!" Pedro flashed his bright white teeth at me. "Terrence promised mesquite just for me."

"Is that right?" I slid into the back of the roadster. "Then you better press on the gas. Between Spader and Liz, you ain't got a prayer, Pedro."

"You don't know that. When I was growing up, we used to fight jaguars for food. Two ethereal beings are nothing."

I glanced out the side window as Joey climbed in with his Nikon. He kissed Pedro and I made a face behind my hand.

"Are you boring Evie with your stories of Columbia again, babe?" Joey locked hands with our driver. "You should switch them up. Give her some good ones from Florida."

I rolled my eyes once more. Pedro was a Columbian immigrant who had risen to the Ivy Leagues once his parents escaped for Miami. Yay. Good for him.

"Evie, you have got to get in a better mood," Joey twisted around to look at me as Pedro lowered the top of the convertible. "You know, you're not representing the sun god very well right now."

"Leave her alone, Joey," Pedro came to my defense. A move that was completely unnecessary. "Our Eva is tired from her flight this morning. That is all."

"Uh huh."

"Oh, be quiet." I pouted at Joey as Pedro headed down the backroads to the estate. "It's not my fault I got stuck with the cops all night. You could've stayed with me."

"You find the corpse, you deal with the aftermath, Evie. That's our arrangement."

"I want that in writing."

"It's in our contracts." Joey laughed until I popped him on the shoulder. "Ow!"

"Anyway, I'll be fine once we get there. You know me, Joey. All gloom and doom until the spotlight hits."

"You know, on Rainbow Brite, you'd be that little gray man that hates kittens and flowers."

"Well, you'd be-"

"Children, children, we're here," Pedro whistled to get our attention. "And look! The driveway is already full."

Of course, it was. I waited for Pedro to park before I climbed out over the side. I tugged my shorts down, slid my sunglasses into place, and smiled when Nella Manville ran around the side yard to throw her arms around Pedro.

"Pedro! You're home!"

"Si, Nelliana!" He boomed. "I found a few stowaways on the cruise ship. Thought they could join us."

Did I mention that Pedro was one of the Grannison-Morris Elevenths? He traveled often but happened to be in town the last time Joey came to Rome to visit Terrence. I'd stayed in L.A. It was better that way. Easier.

"Evie!" Nella finally noticed me standing next to the car when Joey and Pedro stopped yammering at her. "Jeez, it's been forever since you've been home!"

"Not that long-"

"Eight months, if you want to know," Royale Spader came around the side yard with a grin on his face and a blonde girl with pink highlights on his arm. "Come on. Party's back here. Not in the driveway."

"Oh, is that-" The girl started and Spader patted her hand.

"That's just Evie. Evie, Heidi. Heidi, Evie."

"I love your show." She started chattering at me. "You're so brave and-"

I didn't hear the rest. I had spotted the one person I'd spent the past eight months trying to get out of my head. Jonah Rowe dressed in shorts and a blue polo was still a sight that made my heart want to stop.

So, too, did the curvy brunette that hung around his neck. She pressed a kiss against his cheek and laughed at the face he made. Suddenly, I was all too aware of why I had avoided the estate like a plague. I'd still talked to Jonah, but through FaceTime. Video calls. I'd been busy.

And so had he. With her.

"Guys!" Pedro whistled. "Party's just got here!"

I switched on the celebrity persona like the pro that I was. I could get through this. I would get through this.

"Joey! Pedro!'

The two of them were swarmed and I took a step back in the crowd. For the first time since I'd been coming to the estate, I felt out of place. Lost.

"Evie?" Jonah approached me with the brunette in tow. "Holy- how did Joey get you here in time? I thought you were in Detroit."

"I took the red eye flight," I smiled at him as the brunette threw her arms around his waist. "This must be Lola."

"It's so nice to meet you, Eva," She grinned at me. "You have to sit with us. Tell us all about Detroit."

I didn't want to talk about Detroit. Hell, I didn't want to talk to her at all. 

"You know Detroit is nothing but burned-out buildings and busted factories. But I can make up some stories if you want."

"Evie found a body last night," Joey threw his arm around my shoulders. "Gang hit. She spent the night talking to the cops."

"Thank you for the spoiler alert," I grumbled while Joey kissed me on the cheek. "Go play somewhere else."

"Just trying to ease the tension," Joey said innocently, “I smell Terrence's barbecue. Have got to go!"

"What tension?" I glared at him. "There's no tension."

Joey dashed off, and I was happy to be rid of him. Nothing negative, but he was just so damn sappy that I needed space away from his giddiness.

Funny how I'd wanted him to leave. I was now free of Joey, but face to face with Jonah's girlfriend. Fabulous.

"I have to admit that that would've been cool to report on," Lola sounded almost wistful. "Down here, the most exciting news is when someone's cow breaks from the pasture and holds up traffic on the road."

"Jonah mentioned you were a reporter." I glanced over at Jonah, who was looking down on her with an expression I didn't like. It was too much like Pedro after he and Joey had kept me up all night banging around in his bedroom.  I put my focus back on her. "What network are you with again?"

"I'm local at the moment, but I have my eye on other avenues." She grinned. "I kept trying to get J. to move out to L.A. with me. He won't do it."

Why would he? Jonah hates big cities. He only came to L.A. to be with me.

No. I knew that wasn't true. He came to help me. Not be  with me. There was a huge difference.

"You're awfully quiet, J.," Lola leaned her head back to look up at him. "You good?"

"Yeah, fine. Just letting you two chitchat."

Jesus, this was awkward. I decided to take the most graceful exit I could think of.

"I'm going to go mingle. I'll catch up with you two later. It's nice to meet you."

I slipped around them and wondered if I should hide out inside until Apollo could send one of the keepers to come get me. I knew this was a bad idea. Why I let Joey convince me otherwise was beyond me.

I never made it to the house. I got caught up in a bear hug by Terrence, who lifted me off my feet.

"Goldilocks!"

"Papa Bear!" I teased him. "Put me down!"

"Evie, how have you been?" Terrence pulled me over to the grill. "How's the road?"

"Fantastic. How's the estate?"

"Fantastic!" Terrence pushed a plate my way. "Got some goodies with your name on them."

Of course, he did. Terrence was forever trying to get me to eat a full plate of food. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was never going to happen.

I grabbed the hot dog and took a bite to be polite. Perfection as usual.

"Jonah seems to be doing great with Lola," I commented. "What do you think of her as his girlfriend? Step up from Vera, ain't she?"

"Girlfriend?" Terrence frowned. "Eva, J. and Lo ain't like that. They're not in love. They're just friends with benefits."

Uh huh. I pulled back the tab on my soda. I didn't believe that for a second. I'd seen the way he looked at her. That was not a 'friendly' expression.

"They go on dates. They have sex. They are all over each other. And she's here at the estate," I ticked each point off on my fingers. "Sounds like a girlfriend to me."

"That's because you're too innocent, Evie."

I went to take another bite of the hotdog and put it right back on the plate. I couldn't force myself to do it. I pushed it towards Terrence. "You finish this."

"You literally took one bite."

"That's enough."

"For a bird!" Terrence grumbled under his breath. He picked up the hotdog and took a bite. "You know, if you actually ate something, you wouldn't be so grumpy all the time."

"How do you know I'm grumpy? You haven't seen me in forever."

"True." He finished the food he made for me. I kept the soda though. "What about you? Have you found a Pedro yet?"

"No. I don't like men who get better manicures than I do."

"Evie! I mean someone to hang out with."

"You know better than that, Terrence." I leaned against the grill just in time to spot Lola once again on Jonah's lap. I made a face when he kissed her. "How is that not a relationship?"

"It's not. But it's not like you care, right? J. said the two of you talked it out after the Emmys."

"Yeah, we did. I'm just trying to understand the whole ‘friends with benefits' thing."

"I can teach you," Spader slid up beside me. He threw his arm around my shoulders. "We'd have fun."

"We. As in me and you or you and Heidi?"

"Who? Oh, yeah. Not her. Just you."

"Spader," I turned towards him. "I don't think you would know what to do with yourself if I ever took you up on one of your pick-up lines."

"Oh, I'd know what to do."

"Uh huh. Then do it."

Spader jerked upright. "Um, what?"

"Show me what you got to seduce me with." I crossed my arms over my chest. "Take your best shot."

Spader's mouth dropped open. He closed it then ran his hand through his spiked hair before he looked the other way. Spader cupped his hand around his ear.

"What's that, Heidi?" He hollered across the yard. "Geez, Evie, I gotta go. See ya!"

Spader took off like a shot and Terrence cracked up. He laughed so hard, I thought he was going to hurt himself.

"That look on his face," He gasped. "I can't...Evie, you're so mean!"

"Nope, just used Spader to make my point. That's the reaction I always get if a guy tries to approach me. Most of the time, they keep their distance."

"Because you are an intimidating woman who's not afraid to let her light shine," Terrence pointed his spatula at me while I hopped up on the adjoining picnic table. "Seriously, Evie. I imagine you think most men are dicks. Some are, but others don't fit because they're blinded by you. When the one comes along that isn't intimidated by the shine, that's the one you jump on."

I shrugged. "I've yet to meet him."

Terrence rolled his eyes at me. "He's your best friend, Evie."

"The one'" I used air quotes to emphasize my point. "Is not Jonah. 'The one' for me doesn't exist. Terrence, Jonah made it perfectly clear that he doesn't see me as any more than a friend. I'm respecting that."

"I'm just saying. You should jump on it."

"How the hell am I going to jump on Jonah if there is another woman hanging off his lap?" I examined my manicure. "Besides, I'm over it."

"Over Jonah?"

"I can't get over someone I never had. I mean the whole love and romance crap. I'm done."

"What does that mean?" Terrence narrowed his eyes at me. "Evie, you can't stop yourself from falling in love. It's already happened."

"Yes, I can, and no, it hasn't."

"Explain this. Because the only thing that comes to mind when you say that is a nunnery."

"That's what I'm going to do. In the Olympian sense. I'm taking Hestia's oath tomorrow."

Terrence frowned and pulled out his phone. I couldn't help but laugh that my friend was googling Hestia's Oath. He must have found it, because he stared at the phone before he focused on me. "Eva, why would you do this? This is damn unnatural!"

"No, it's not. Magick is the most natural thing there is."

"But..." He read it and his eyes widened. "You'll lose your ability to fall in love."

"Not a problem."

"You have to remain a virgin?" Terrence stared at me. "Remain? You don't fit the criteria then."

"Yes, I do."

"Never?"

"Never."

Terrence squinted his eyes as he scrutinized my face.

"But you're twenty-six."

"Exactly. If I haven't found anyone even remotely interested by my age, then what's the point of even searching?"

"You're serious about this. You are actually going to neuter your ability to love?"

"Where’s the drawback here, Terrence? I lose the ability to fall in love, I won't care how alone I am. I lose desire? Don't have it, so whatever." I shrugged. "It's a win-win for me."

"Evie, this is a mistake," Terrence shook his head. "I believe that with every fiber of my being. Like...down in my gut."

I swallowed the last of my soda. "Well, if it is wrong, which I doubt, then there will be some miracle to stop me. Right?"

"You know what could avoid your need for a miracle? If you just changed your mind."

"I don't think that's going to happen, Terrence. But I appreciate the sentiment." I gestured to the people around us. Everyone paired off with someone else. "All that? That's not made for me.”

“How do you know?"

"Because the scant few moments I have had like that were stolen ones. So it's time to stop pretending and accept my fate as the spinster. I'll go adopt a few cats next week to seal the deal."

Terrence fixed another hot dog. He didn't laugh at my attempt at humor. "So your mind is made up, then? How long have you thought this out?"

"Just over eight months. Hestia makes you wait before she will perform the ritual. Gives you time to decide if that's what you really want."

"Is it?"