The Game Night Murders - Theodore Huntington

The Game Night Murders by Theodore Huntington

Book excerpt

“I’M GONNA CUT YOU!”

The party froze at Kerri-Anne’s completely unprovoked threat. What was a fun Game Night at Linda’s house immediately turned dark, with the dozen or so guests staring dumbfounded, jaws dropped, at the statuesque blonde, everyone wondering if this was a bad joke.

On cue, Alexa stopped playing the hip-hop party tunes that next-door neighbor Ren had requested. Ren was a regular at Linda’s Game Nights, often the life of the party with his over-the-top perverted sense of humor.

After an uncomfortable ninety seconds of dead air, Linda’s significant other, Gregory, finally replied, “What the fuck, Kerri-Anne?!”

Gregory stared down Kerri-Anne, noticing her glassy gaze and lack of balance while she struggled to remain atop the bar stool.

“You heard me,” Kerri-Anne slurred as her shaky, freshly manicured index finger wiggled millimeters from Gregory’s nose.

This was not the first time Kerri-Anne threatened Gregory, but it was the first time she let her feelings be known to the entire group. She had made constant remarks in private to Gregory, comments such as, “You’re not gonna steal my best friend from me” or “You won’t be around much longer”. Gregory sluffed off those remarks as drunken banter from a jealous woman.

He and Linda had discussed Kerri-Anne’s behavior many times, and Linda knew her friend was becoming a thorn in her relationship with Gregory. The couple speculated that Kerri-Anne was possibly a lesbian or bisexual, whose emotional connection with Linda had grown beyond that of “friend.” The problem was, at least in Kerri-Anne’s mind, Linda did not have the same intense feelings toward Kerri-Anne. In fact, after being single for over a decade since her twenty-year marriage ended, Linda had finally met a man with whom she felt a genuine connection. She could see spending their golden years together … provided they could endure the bump in the road created by Kerri-Anne.

The other party guests could see the problem as well. They all walked on eggshells around Kerri-Anne’s drunken antics and spoke frequently amongst each other about how Linda needed to cut ties with Kerri-Anne, who had sabotaged far too many Game Nights. There was the night Linda had to leave the party early to bail Kerri-Anne out of jail after she had assaulted an Uber driver because the Iranian immigrant would not play Kerri-Anne’s favorite Sirius XM channel. And there was the night when Kerri-Anne had emerged from the bathroom completely nude, encouraging all the other partiers to join “enjoy the freedom of nudity”. And when no one obliged, Kerri-Anne verbally assaulted the party guests, calling them “vanilla pussies” and “limp-dick Republicans”. There were numerous other incidents of similar infamy, all which Kerri-Anne claimed to never remember after sleeping off her hangover.

Linda continuously assured Gregory that Kerri-Anne would never really harm him. Gregory was not so certain.

Gregory noticed the twelve-inch carving knife within two feet of the inebriated forty-year-old woman’s left hand, and not so subtly slid it away from her reach.

Linda emerged from the restroom, unaware of the strange interchange between her friend and her beau.

Kerri-Anne’s demeanor changed immediately.

“What’s with all this goop in your hair?” Kerri-Anne asked, stumbling to her feet to stand behind Ren, running her long fingers through Ren’s thick black locks. She had played this flirtatious game with Ren for months. She had even confided in Linda about late-night booty calls at Ren’s, none of which were true. It was all a smokescreen.

Ren held up a hand to block Kerri-Anne’s. “Hey! I spent thirty minutes on the ‘do tonight. Keep your grimy digits outta my fur.”

Everyone laughed. Not Kerri-Anne.

“Oh Ren, you’re such a freak. Why don’t you go back to your murder spree?” Kerri-Anne sat back down on her bar stool, nearly missing the chair altogether. It was Gregory who caught her arm and saved Kerri-Anne from crashing to the floor.

The “murder spree” crack was another running joke among the Game Night crowd. Ren lived a mysterious life. He had no significant other, just a slew of unimportant hookups. Ren was a nuclear engineer who spent most weeks on the road, returning on weekends to his lovely mid-century modern home with a view of the Rocky Mountains. At one Game Night, someone jokingly asked if Ren was traveling the U.S. racking up serial kills. “Yup, and I bring them back and bury the bodies under my house,” Ren replied. He enjoyed having an air of mystery around him and played into the banter.

Acting hurt by Ren’s diss, Kerri-Anne left her bar stool and plopped down onto the living room couch, still within earshot of the other party guests. She whipped out her phone from her pocket.

“Hey, Hank! Why aren’t you at the party? Where the fuck are you, Hank?” Kerri-Anne ended the voicemail message and tossed her phone onto the couch, unaware that it slid between the cushions. She always misplaced her phone; the Kerri-Anne iPhone search was typically the final activity of every Game Night.

“Let’s go over to Hank’s house. He’s just around the corner,” Kerri-Anne announced.

“No one’s going over to Hank’s house,” Gregory spoke for the entire group.

“He never responded to the invite, Kerri-Anne. He never does anymore. What’re you doing?” Linda asked.

“Come on, let’s go!”

Kerri-Anne slipped on her denim jacket and opened the front door, looking back at the others. “Fine, I’m going to Hank’s. Keep an eye on Chip for me.” Chip was Kerri-Anne’s Chihuahua, who always traveled with her.

No one was interested in going to Hank’s, especially Gregory. Hank and Linda had dated briefly before Linda and Gregory met. The relationship ended amicably, and both Hank and Linda moved on with their lives. Linda kept Hank on the group text invite list just to be polite, but Hank never attended any more Game Nights. Kerri-Anne, however, was adept at driving wedges between people. Even after seven margaritas, Kerri-Anne could not stop her conniving jealousy. She brought up Hank every chance she could, knowing it was a sore subject with Gregory. Anything to drive a wedge between Linda and Gregory, she thought.

Game Night continued as the teams got back into Cards Against Humanity. But now the game could flow smoothly without Kerri-Anne’s constant disruptions.

A cool breeze blew in from the front door, as Kerri-Anne stumbled back inside. She had been gone for all of five minutes.

“Shit, you’re back already?” Ren quipped.

Flipping off Ren, Kerri-Anne grabbed Linda’s arm and yanked her toward the back patio. “We need to talk.”

The glass door slid shut, blocking the sound of Kerri-Anne and Linda’s conversation from the rest of the guests. Gregory paid close attention to what was transpiring on the patio. He could not read lips, but it was evident there was a problem.

“I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING,” Linda whispered to Gregory while they slid under the covers. The party went well after Kerri-Anne had passed out on the couch, allowing the rest of the guests to enjoy the evening without her disruptions.

“Okay, what’s up?” Gregory knew Linda was about to discuss Kerri-Anne, but he wanted to keep an even keel.

“Promise me you won’t be mad.”

“I don’t know what you’re going to tell me.”

“Just promise, okay?”

“Alright.”

Long pause. Linda was choking back her tears. “When Kerri-Anne dragged me out back … she told me Hank is still in love with me.”

“Uh-huh. Do you think that’s true?”

“No, not at all. She’s being ridiculous. Hank was never in love with me. In fact, I don’t think she even went to Hank’s. She was back here two minutes after she left.”

“So, why would she tell you that?”

“I think we both know why.”

Gregory waited for Linda to say it.

“It’s so weird for me to admit this.”

Gregory said nothing.

Linda took a deep breath. “Fine … she’s in love with me. Are you happy? You were right all along.”